If you’re like me, you often wake up in the morning wondering, “What was the name of that Flash game where you could ride around on a giant sperm?” The answer, reassuringly enough, is Sperm Rider, and it’s every bit as charming as I remember it.
Sperm Rider‘s one of those nihilist destruction games, like Rampage or Thelemite, the difference being, of course, your rather unusual means of transport. The game’s crayony visuals hide a surprising degree of sophistication, though: the controls are smart and interesting, the animation’s wonderful at conveying a sense of 3D tangibility to your bizarre ride, and helicopters spiral from the sky in the most pleasing of manners.
Inevitably, there’s little for the game to do except send you up against increasingly powerful enemies, but for Sperm Rider that’s enough. This is elegant, mindless fun, and it sort of reminds me of the adenoid bit from Gravity’s Rainbow. Also: nice hat.