Heimerdinger is the man, if you ask me. He is, as far as I can tell, a wobbly custard-coloured brain, with little round glasses and a moustache that’s also made out of brain. Who cares, though? I don’t want to kiss him, I want to be him. I want to be him as much as I can in League of Legends where he’s just helped me to my first ever victory.

It was, I’m ashamed to say, my fourth League of Legends match and, yes, I was still playing against bots, and I know they’re very different from human enemies. No matter, though: after hours of messing around with support characters, melee characters, healers and whatnot, Heimerdinger wandered into my line of sight, and I don’t think I ever want to let him go. Heimerdinger can make turrets, but he can also send out little rockets that chew through enemies like nobody’s business, and he can toss an amazing electrical grenade about, too. And he hits people with a wrench. He may act like Heinz Wolff, then, but he’s a cross between Batman, one of those guys out of American Chopper and a crazy over-powered mech where it really counts.

If, like me, you’re new to League of Legends, you’ll probably be hunting for that one character that really clicks as you start to learn the dizzying intricacies of this terrifying online sport. I’m probably getting all of this wrong, but I’d definitely suggest giving Heimerdinger a shout ASAP. In other League of Legends news, the tutorial was surprisingly good, and most of the core concepts are pretty easy to get your head around. If you’ve been avoiding the world’s biggest game because it looks too daunting, I’d say hop in.

Heimerdinger agrees, BTW. ROCKETS!