Danny Boyle’s creative smorgasbord of a production for the British Olympic opening ceremony held millions in its thrall on Saturday night. A celebration of the patchwork mess that is British history and invention, from Shakespeare to the industrial revolution to the creation of the NHS and the internet, few pebbles were left unturned in Boyle’s warmhearted effort to encapsulate the character and accomplishments of our green and pleasant country.

But not everyone was quite so enamored by the Trainspotting director’s efforts. One right wing MP (who enjoys dressing up as a Nazi) expressed his dismay at the event’s multiculturalism (those foreigners, coming over here, stealing our medals). But another participant in the ceremony expressed his lack of interest by sticking his nose in a Nintendo 3DS. Poor chap was even singled out by the cameraman, who broadcast his game session (and high score of 2012 points) to, oh, like a BILLION PEOPLE around the globe.

It was something of a coup for Nintendo, of course (although considering the ceremony occurred on the day of the 3DS XL launch, was something of a missed opportunity too). But Hookshot Inc. feels the need for an intervention for the young player as he appeared to be watching (not playing) a canned animation of a game that doesn’t exist – a sort of amalgamation of Galaxian and Space Invaders designed to embody video-gameness to the world. Useful for making a cultural point on the big screen, perhaps – but not that much fun to play on your mom’s doorstep.

With Nintendo’s recent freshening up of the eShop and Tim Berners Lee on hand to fix the Wifi if it goes down, what better opportunity to recommend some of the best downloadable DSWare games for this young man to play amidst the fireworks and pantomime?

Pop Island Paperfield

Odenis Studio’s handsome capture-the-flag title is bursting with colour and energy. The mechanics are straightforward: race against the opposing team to to capture the most flags and drive them back to your base for points, but the execution is a riot of energy and excitement. Playable with up to 8 players, it also encourages a bit of social interaction, which might be a good thing considering how little Olympic kid’s mom appears to talk to him.

10 Second Run

The inverse of an endless runner, 10 Second Run is a side-scrolling platform game in which you must make it to the exit point within a ten second time-limit. Its understated, spartan visuals have the air of Dreamcast-era Sega about them, complementing the game design’s focus. 50 stages will keep Olympic kid busy and, if he can manage to do the 100 m in fewer than 10 seconds, he can stick around the stadium for a medal come track and field week.

Portable Shrine Wars

We’ll level with you, kid: we don’t really understand what the hell is going on in this one but it’s DELIRIOUSLY EXCITING nonetheless. You control a portable shrine (obv.) which is carried aloft by a bunch of sprinting Japanese men. One button causes the group to jump (for leaping over chasms or butt-stomping rival portable shrines) and another launches one of your little men forwards as a sort of Nipponese projectile – at the cost of a some speed. The aim of the game appears to make it to the end of the track and take down the portable shrine boss waiting there as quickly as possible. Maybe. The trailer offers this advice: ‘The more men you have the faster you can run’. Which sounds like the advice of the creepiest athletics trainer ever. Perhaps we could get this added as an official Olympic event so someone has to write down the rules? Oh, Japan.

Mighty Switch Force!

Way Forward is basically the Western Treasure, making compact games bound around jewel-like conceits. Mighty Switch Force! is one of the studio’s best, its quality testified by the fact it’s coming to Wii-U later this year. You play as robot police officer Patricia Wagon who is tasked with rounding up a bunch of convicts before making it to the stage exit as quickly as possible. Useful training if Olympic kid’s mom ever runs him over in her red Mini, and he has to be brought back as a sentient crime-fighting robot.