Don't worry! Somebody has. Somebody named Gaz, actually, and he's done it via the only medium that red will understand: the browser game.
Man, what's the big deal with red, eh? Somebody should teach red a lesson. You know, really stick it to 'em. Big red idiots.
If you're like me, you often wake up in the morning wondering, "What was the name of that Flash game where you could ride around on a giant sperm?" The answer, reassuringly enough, is Sperm Rider, and it's every bit as charming as I remember it.
Read on, if you dare. Or fancy.
Porter once told me that, as a man, Rambo does things to him that he can't quite explain. I'm surprised he hasn't seen Rambo: Last Blood, then, a Flash game by Peter Javidpour that will probably turn his world inside out.
Just so you know, there were a couple of inspirations for this post. Firstly, I realised we hadn't written anything about Farbs yet, and that made me start to hate us. Secondly, I spent all last night dreaming of playing Captain Forever, so this morning I loaded it up. If only all my dreams could come true so easily. Except for the one with the giant lizard in the elevator.