Tiny Wings is back. Due to hatch on Thursday into a bright new dawn, before skimming over hill and dale in a chilling pastoral metaphor for life itself. No one knows, however, what changes will be rung in for the original non-angry bird.

Here’s what could happen if Andreas Illiger’s creation is carried by the prevailing winds of iOS development…

  • New Sun-Charge™ meter! Players earn in-game charge by flying too close to the sun, or by visiting the real currency in-game Sun-Shop! A five dollar bundle of Sun-Charge™ will halt the descent of the Tiny Wings fiery gas ball for two in-game hours every day!
  • Bird customisation! Cool decals and sprays for your flying friend!
  • More uphill than down! Looking for a good place to descend and pick up speed? The  more games you play, the more vertical mountains we’ll put in your path! Come back later, or earn some Sun-Charge™ duderino!
  • Facebook integration! Show all your friends how much you love Angry Wings 2 and we’ll provide a mountain to slide down that’s so big it’s like sliding down the banisters – from the Moon! PLUS a bundle of Sun-charge™ and some cool wraparound shades for your bird!
  • Fed up with never seeing beyond the fourth island? Why not unlock the whole game with just one visit to the Sun-Shop?
  • Get woken up at the same time every night by the Tiny Wings 2 Push Notification! Here’s a sneak peek: “Hey birdie! Did you know there’s 50% off Sun-Charge™ today? Why not visit your friends at the Sun-Shop!”. On to of that, there’s this one! “Hey meanie! You haven’t slid a bird with ‘Tiny Wings’ down a hill recently! Come back!”. Sigh, then go back to sleep! And forget to change the notification options AGAIN the next day!
  • Game bonus for reviews of Tiny Wings 2 on the App Store! We take away the picture of a badly beaten baby bird we show you after every five plays! The terrifying vision of a trembling creature pointing at you with an accusatory broken wing will be removed from your conscience. Forever!
  • Multiplayer, probably.

Here’s a rather lovely teaser trailer for the real things by the way. The game’s out on Thursday.