There seems to be some confusion online as to whether it’s Wimp’s pants or panties that’ve been stolen, suggesting that the cute alien blob has some underlying issues that he needs to work through, but the race to reclaim them is still very much on.

Wimp is a tale of jumping around distant worlds, collecting magical loo paper and gripping onto things really tight. It’s also now a proud (toilet roll) holder of a Hookshot Inc must-play award

It’s rare that you come across a touchscreen game with controls that sing, especially one that takes place at the unhygienic end of a household toilet waste pipe, but float-manoeuvring Wimp through the air feels genuinely elegant. Wimp is encased in a mucus membrane, if you want to get biological about it, and as the game opens he can glue himself tight to physics objects to wiggle them free or pull them over – as well as generic old pushing. What soon develops is a game of levers, lifts, swings, rotating girders and chewed bottom lips with a backdrop of a beautiful alien sky.

There are three toilet rolls scattered through the more hard-to-reach areas of each level, but Wimp’s prime concern is pantie-retrieval and the opening of the next waste pipe. Thankfully, meanwhile, tumbles into green liquid and run-ins with the local wild-life don’t throw you back to the start of the level – so getting over tricky obstacles become instant (and unpunished) retries. Wimp isn’t so much about pin-point controls, as solving puzzles – which in turn grants the game consistency, and a strange compulsion that starts to numb the ends of your sweatier fingers.

Wimp is easily the best platformer I’ve played on my iPhone – and I was thinking that even before I was allowed to turn into am explosive ball of flame in the second world. Wimp’s quest for his dear beloved panties is one primed to reinvent itself as time goes on – and every man, woman and child should pray that his nether regions never touch cotton again…